Saturday, January 8, 2011
Im a fan of positive psychology; Not the new age "think positive and the Universe will provide" crap. I like the idea that psychology isn't just a way to identify symptoms of illnesses and behavior, but also psychology serves as the study of how the successful, the happy and the wise THINK and ACT. I believe that if you want to be happy you CAN. I'm obviously not talking about people born into slavery or extreme poverty, I'm talking about the millions of Americans that suffer from depression, or the people caught up in dead end jobs, abusive relationships and silly destructive patterns.
In this world and culture happiness is more then just an option, it's fuckin EASY. The problem is that it's even easier to get caught up in the drama and be held back by the unfortunate obstacles that come our way. Feeling sorry for ourselves should only serve as the catalyst to instigate change. Sure it feels better to point the finger or curse the Gods, but whats the benefit in that? I like being happy. I hate feeling angry, anxious, or taken advantage of. I despise jealousy and dread. There's too few days out there to waste on such things. I should know, I definitely wallowed in self pity in my past and still find myself repeating familiar mistakes, but I've always managed to pull myself up by my bootstraps and lately have gotten better at admitting when I'm fuckin myself over yet again.
I pay attention to things like behavior patterns and structure and dwell on idiosyncrasies that pop up repeatedly. I'm consumed by some of these themes so I feel personally responsible to instigate change if a change is desired. What good is being able to predict that lightening will strike your house if you won't leave or can't prevent it? That's where my dread comes in; I hate seeing the patterns play out that lead up to an undesirable situation and not being able to prevent the negative or instigate the positive. Sometimes we secretly want to suffer, or want to indulge in negative patterns but if you don't acknowledge when your doing that at the very least then you will find yourself repeating the same mistake in different ways for the rest of your life!! It's your responsibility to manage your life and create positive opportunities for yourself, to take advantage of what comes your way and put your personal positive spin on it. Everything that comes within your reach is effected by you, it's not just the outside influences effecting you. You do have power here.
Life may feel like a game of dodgeball with you in the center at times, but there are ways to WIN at dodgeball. You have to be ready to participte, be present, focused and not afraid of what happens if you get hit. If you let fear guide your decisions you will only become more scared. It's when we move forward despite our fears that we experience any real growth. You can't be afraid to live, or be afraid to be happy, or worse yet, afraid that someone will take your happiness away from you. Facing your demons and pushing yourself is your own responsibility. You will be helped along the way like you were in school, but in LIFE you choose your teachers and grade your OWN tests. This may sound like a cruel joke but it's the most rewarding type of education you will ever have. If you don't force yourself to get up each morning and test yourself, everyone else you meet along the way will be happy to test you FOR YOU, and chances are you won't like it.
Remember: Sadness is a reaction. Happiness is a state of being.