SUPER EGO IDiot Man- The Most Interesting Man on the Internet

If an actor can claim to be the most interesting and Howard Stern can declare himself the King of All MEdia...These are my attempts at piggy backing off the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man Alive.

I will just try to shoot for "The Most interesting Man on the Internet."
This will be in collusion with my 35th Birthday Celebration called "Super Ego IDiot Man". I hope you enjoy arrogant tirades.

<--He once participated in a bull fight...... where HE was the bull, and he won!
-His sweat is sold as an aphrodesiac in foreign countries.
-If a tree falls in a forest, its probably because he pushed it over.
-Its been said that the chinese invented elaborate firework displays in effort to recreate his essence.

He bought the Fonze his leather jacket.

He once snuck in to Santas house in the middle of the night to leave him a thank you card.

He once met a monk on a mountain road and gave him directions-towards inner peace.

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  He was seen reprimanding a female lion on how to better protect her cubs and is credited with telling Richard Bramson to "learn to live a little".
• A toy based on him was discontinued after it kept inventing other toys.21 seconds ago ·
• Doctors made him their official "2nd opinion"
• He is the inventor of CAPITAL LETTERS.
  When on the stand they dont require him to swear on the Bible, bc his word is that good.
• He didn't create the first omlette, he just suggested it have cheese.
• He doesnt ride a motorcycle out of concern that he will inherit a gang.
  
• He created the term "fuck off."

  When asked when he lost his virginity -his response- "whats that?"
• When visiting the Native Innuit they cross the border and marry prettier women to offer him when he stays overnight.

  He drinks Whiskey because beer is an accoutrement.
• Dogs leave in fear when HE growls.
  
• Anything he wears becomes his fashion line.

  Narcissists have admitted to him- Its not about me, its always been about you.He only lost his footing once and it immediately became in fashion to limp.
• He once beat a fish in a blinking contest.
• He gave his teachers report cards and once fired a pilot on an international flight and then took over.
• Soldiers & Schoolgirls await his command.,
  

  Legend has it that he once hired a hooker who not only refused payment but decided that she would call all her customers by his name from now on.

• at his birth he slapped the Dr. and had to fight off the nurses offering to breast feed him. By the age of 6 he left home to be raised by wolves on purpose. The wolves didnt have a choice.
  

• He also taught the Dos Equis guy how to spear his enermy with an olive branch.