Saturday, March 5, 2011
WOW. I don't know where to start. Lets just say that my friends are really fuckin funny. Most of em anyway. lol Where does it all start? I don't know which beginning is the best beginning to begin with but let's begin anyway.
As the story goes I used to be one of those "nice guys" and then I realized there was no progress in being a pushover, so started becoming more assertive, aggressive and opinionated and thus began the evolution of my dooshbaggery. (yes thats how we like to spell it) Along the way I've picked up other dooshy friends and we've all enjoyed quite a few laughs at the others expense whether it be through quick quips or elaborate ways to tell eachother to fuck off.
I turned 35 yesterday and decided I would now put an end to some of the traits that characterize the dooshiness of which I speak, because clearly I embody more then some.
Last year Christine Goodman, director of Art House Productions made an offhand comment that on my 35th birthday she would roast me. Knowing my friends would travel far and wide for the opportunity to make fun of me, I got excited at the hysteria that was possible. Life being what it is some things came up that prevented Ms. Goodman from actually roasting me, but due to a series of recent events that had friends questioning my compassion I thought it was time I roasted myself so to speak and take accountability for the whys and hows of my personality that apparently had become quite offensive. About a month ago I decided I would write and perform a one act play that called attention to these qualities in a performance entitled ;Super Ego IDiot Man. The play was my way of taking myself to task for the offensive qualities I had enjoyed emboldening over the years amongst my friends. "Vogel" otherwise known as Kit Vogelsang played my inferior self and I played the superior self trying to convince this other part of me that many of his traits had become obsolete and now at 35 it was time to be a better man, better person.
covered here by Summer Hortillosa of the Jersey Journal.
The whole play lasted only 10 minutes and was well received but was trumped by a surprise roast from my friend of 22 yrs Brian Brunette who flew in from Miami to make sure I wasn't simply roasting myself and in his own words, wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything out. He arrived out of nowhere dressed in military fatigues and a skimask, staying in the theme of my after party which was "Soldiers & School Girls". After an uncomfortably long confusing wait he pulled off the mask revealing himself and began his true roast which was a Dr Seussy rhyme where he takes me to task and lets people in on everything from my psychological makeup to my carpentry skills. His performance so good I almost didn't want to perform our scheduled piece.
BUT Brian's roast wasn't the only gift I received. As part of an ongoing prank between myself and Luis Vera Luis; whom is currently traveling south, Luis created a travel blog called the JOHN FATHOM GO FUCK YOURSELF TRAVEL BLOG. A blog where he has my image plastered on the blog in meme form as well as a hilarious video where he acts like a bootleg British/Gilbert Goddfried type infomercial salesman hocking a new product called; The Fathom Go Fuck Yourself Wonder Spray which can do everything from increase your penis size by 1/4 inch to super powers like elemental transmutation. The video is fuckin hilarious. I kid you not. Luis and I have been going back and forth with creative ways to tell ea other to fuck off but he really outdid himself with this one. In the past I've made Luis go fuck yourself T-shirts and a fan page as well as a song by Colin Comstock which he premiers at the end of his video, but this video steals first prize and is growing I'm sure. There really aren/t words to describe this comedy gem so you must watch it and please share and repost it as you wish. It can be found at this link http://johnfathomgofy.tumblr.com/
and Brians hilarous roast video will be posted on this article soon.
Thanx guys, you proved to me that when you have friends that enjoy watching you suffer as much as mine do, what can your enemies inflict upon you that you havent already been through while laughing hysterically. However I wish I would have known I was gonna actually be roasted or I wouldnt have spent a month writing a one act play. Then again Im sure they enjoy making me waste my time.